Trapped...Are We?

I happened to come across this article today -

'According to the National Commission for Women every 26 minutes a woman is molested. Every 54 minutes a rape takes place. Every 48 minutes an eve-teasing incident occurs. Every 4 minutes a woman is kidnapped. One act of cruelty every 33 minutes and one criminal offence every 7 minutes against women take place in our country...'

In our day to day lives, every day, in every situation - in public transport, markets, restaurants, women face various degrees of harassment - from whistles, cheap songs and rude remarks... to touching,feeling and pinching. When these go unchecked and unpunished the result is often molestation, rape and violence.

According to the widely held belief in Christianity & Islam , God created the world to punish Adam and Eve for tasting the forbidden apple after being tempted by Satan(serpent) to taste the apple . It was the fall of Adam and Eve that distanced humanity from its Creator. Because Eve had also tempted Adam to eat of the fatal fruit, some early preachers of Christianity held her and all subsequent women to be the first sinners and especially responsible for the Fall and the death of Jesus Christ too.There is a slight difference here in what is widely believed and written in the Quran and what is written in the Bible...but for now I won't dwell on this further.

According to Hinduism too, a woman has to suffer in uncountable ways from conception to death.Things like Child marriage,dowry & bride burning, Widow burning(sati),female infanticide,no property,mass wife burning(Jauhar) have been there since centuries .Unfortunately it still continues in smaller parts of the country and worst of all is believed to be right in the eyes of God as practices such as widow burning(sati) is santioned by the Vedas too.

The question that arises in my mind very frequently nowdays is where do I stand amidst all this chaos and wrong doings?It is as if the world has been divided into slices and you don't know which slice would be the best for you to live in, to change , to wipe out the evils ?

A country like India where woman constitute half of the population and yet the same women are forced to be at the receiving end of all this harassment ,discrimination that they are compelled to carry safety pins,rulers ,needles , swiss knives as weapons to protect themselves , a country where you cannot wear what you want to ,a country where you cannot step out in late evenings without a male escort , a country where public transport during late evening hours is equivalent to inviting trouble and harassment to yourselves.

Now when all this still continues...then why not have reservations for women? Why not give them an incentive to grow ,to show the world that they are equal to men , that they too can achieve and that they too can fight a man if ever such a need arises?Equality to me means this .It does not mean to be courteous to a woman , to have seats reserved in buses , trains -something which women tend to take advantage of ....these things cannot be taught to a 20+ year old man...these niceties must come from within once you believe in it...what good is it to have a man get up for a woman in a bus and curse the same woman in his mind or curse the system and those people who thought of such a thing to exist in public transports? (Perhaps the onus of this lies on your parents and the environment that you grew up in )

I have heard many talk of equality among men and women and no reservations for women but then what about all those women who are already bruised and battered ?What about those young girls who are locked away by their parents in the fear of saving their honour,their pride in the society ?What about those dreams and aspirations that these young girls defeated by their own society carry?

The womenfolk also must come forward and get out of this ' We are the weaker lot' syndrome and think of themselves to be equal to a man and then expect the opposite sex to change their mindsets too.
Not much is left out there if you yourself tend to believe that you are weak .

Of course as most of the times... this post too is more about observations rather than inferences, more about asking questions than seeking answers as I don't find myself in a position to arrive at a dispassionate conclusion.

All I stand by is that how good/bad or strong/weak or how successful you are should not be tested on the basis of your gender.So in many ways being a girl myself ...this is a harbinger of change for me.

Songs and Memories

Don't know why but I am in this spree of remembering old times -especially music,the songs I heard,the ones I danced on,the ones that made me smile , cry ,laugh.
I guess the most amazing thing about music that is evergreen is that you can somehow always remember the first time you heard the song ,the people you heard it with ,the moment it hit you -the moment you fell in love with it .
I have had many such moments that I treasure and I can still relive each of those .

A point in example is the time when I heard Baz Luhermann's Everybody Loves Sunscreen. I guess I was in my teens that time and was pretty much hooked onto the new ,teen fad of watching MTV and Star World-whether or not I understood everything that was telecasted back then.
And so on a very normal day after school I heard this song.It hit me immediately .So much so that I waited for it to come on MTV just so that I could memorize the name of the singer and the album . As soon as I got hold of that... I had the tape with me and then I heard it over and over again.

The moment I cannot forget is that I heard with my mum next to me . I remember how she kept telling me -"zaib ,this song is written just for you". That smile on her pretty face ,that spark in her eyes ,that happiness , that look as if she wanted to tease me ,the way she came and pulled my cheeks-I can remember all of it. I recall feeling angry and annoyed back then .

You always remember these little things later and it's sure to bring a smile to your countenance. :)

The thing about time is somethings you detest at some point in time-things that annoy you,test your limits,your patience ...and somehow later on in life you begin to love the same things .You begin to love your destiny for making you go through it.

Like they say that the best thing about time is that no matter how tough it is, it passes. And the worst thing about it is that when it passes, it doesen't come back

Here are some parts of the song-
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;oh nevermind;
you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourselfand recall in a way you can’t grasp now
how much possibility laid before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future;or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you’re ahead,sometimes you’re behind;
the race is long, and in the end,it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life
the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
,some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Be nice to your siblings;
they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle
because the older you get,the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

That's Baz Luhermann for you.Accolades to him!